Compassion

Where do you learn compassion from? As a child my parents tried to teach compassion to us, teaching us to do the right thing. Yet as we grow and life circumstances change our view on things, compassion sometimes isn't foremost in our mind. What has hit me in the last few days is that there is always a lesson we can learn from our children. The other night at the dinner table, my oldest daughter asked if a friend of hers could spend the night at our house. Apparently he had left his mom's house and was sleeping in his car.

Now I'm not against taking kids in -- however, I do question why they have left their house and what is going on with them. My household has rigid rules and yet I find that we always have a lot of extra kids around just to hang out. After a lengthy discussion with my daughter, we discussed how years ago she had stood by this same friend when he was removed from his mom's house due to abuse from his brother. She continued their friendship when he moved out of state and when he finally came back home. Now as they are seniors she still longs to take care of people. She has always had a kind heart.

So agreeing, we have a visitor for the night and again the next night. I look at my children, thinking that something right must have been instilled in them. They know the right thing to do and how to be a good friend to someone.

What lessons do you learn from your children or even young adults you may know? Do we take this lessons for granted or do we allow them to touch our lives, allowing ourselves to learn and grow in our own lives.

Separation Anxiety

We have two dogs in our house -- a greyhound and a springer spaniel. The springer spaniel, whose name is Domino, but is more fondly called Fats Domino due to his overweight nature has not adjusted well to me going to work outside of the house. When I closed my transcription business last year and sought work outside the house, Domino became very needy after being alone with Bay (the greyhound) all day.

Yesterday Domino was having a terrible time with the wind blowing outside and sat on the top stair where we have a gait across so he can't wake up the kids in the morning. He cried and barked. When my oldest daughter got up, he followed her downstairs to the kitchen while she got her breakfast and then trailed after her when she went to the living room. Later that day after the girls got home from school, Domino decided that he needed to be on the bottom shelf of the computer that my daughter was using. We have decided the poor thing is suffering from separation anxiety.

Domino needless to say has become very needy demanding attention all evening. Anyone else have pets that suffer from separation anxiety?

Growing Up

I picked up my daughter last night from her two week trip to California. Now she is 18 and preparing for college in the fall and the one thing that struck me is how grown up she is. As I listened to her talk about her trip and how much she hates New Hampshire and the cold weather, I realized my daughter is a young woman now, not my little girl. Yes, in a lot of aspects she will always be my little girl. She still makes me smile with her way of joking that just teases you out of a blue mood.

As we talked about colleges and when she wants to go I feel a sense of pride. She has grown into a responsible adult with a good head on her shoulders. I feel confident as she goes out into the world that she will succeed at whatever she puts her mind too. Am I sad to see her go? Of course, but I also overwhelming good about her going. She's ready to leave the nest.

Does that make me a bad mother for telling her to go to the college furthest away because I know she is ready? I had always heard how kids going away to college is so hard and you don't want them to go, yet to me it seems such like a natural process.

I enjoyed my kids immensely when they were little, and I must admit I enjoy my teenage kids. I'm extremely blessed to have children that don't give me major problems.

So instead of tears in my eyes from loss as my daughter prepares for college, I have tears from pride and joy at seeing grown into the young woman she is. Ren -- You will go far!!

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

I have been very lax about posting a blog lately and I apologize. Today, though, it hit me as I was driving home from the airport. I had just left my 18 year old who is leaving for California for two weeks. She was standing in line to go through security when she told me she was so nervous she was shaking, yet knew how much fun she was going to have.

As I drove home I thought about my daughter and all that she has done this past year. In September she decided to participate in Miss Teen NH because it was simply something she had never done and had decided she was going to try new things her senior year. That first morning of the weekend of the pageant she told me never to let her do it again because it was way too far out of her comfort zone. At the end of the weekend, she couldn't wait to do it again. She had made tons of new friends, grew more confident and just realized that she could succeed at whatever she wanted if she stepped outside of her comfort zone.

Working through edits, and staring at pages that need to be rewritten, I realize I need to take a lesson from my daughter and step out of my comfort zone and make my heart's desire a realty -- to be a published author. So with renewed motivation, and determination, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and putting new energy into my writing.

What do you desire to do that requires stepping out of your comfort zone?

New Year's Goals vs. Resolutions

A New Year is coming. Do you get caught up in making New Year's resolutions? I have in the past and then am disappointed when I don't keep them. As I reflect this year on my goals - not so much resolutions - I realize the best way to reach them is to make sure they are attainable.

Life throws curve balls all the time at us and therefore I have decide instead of making New Year's resolutions, I am setting short term and long term goals for the year.

Short term -- by the end of February I will have my manuscript fully edited and ready for submission (it has partially been requested at this point). Within six months, by June, I would like to have a rough draft completed of my already started sequel. By year's end - goal is to have the first manuscript sold, and the sequel polished and ready for submission. Are these goals doable? Definitely.

I truly feel that setting smaller goals makes them easier to reach. What goals are you making for the New Year? Will you be making short term and long term goals?

Christmas - It's not in the gifts

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I love going and cutting our own tree, decorating it with the family with Christmas music playing, the family get-togethers and best of all the buying of presents for others.

This year has been a struggle for me to get in the Christmas spirit. After losing my job earlier in the year, finances have been tight. It was a toss up whether there would even be a Christmas this year in our household. Last week, yes, just a week before the big day, I was able to go do a little shopping for my children. Although happy that I could do as much as I did, I was still sad that I couldn't do more.

Last night sitting in the living room with the Christmas lights on, I was chatting with my 14 year old daughter. I mentioned that I hoped they weren't disappointed on Christmas. When she asked what do you mean? I explained that they were only getting one gift each and I just hoped they weren't disappointed. My heart swelled with pride as I listened to her reply -- "Mom, Christmas isn't in the gifts."

She's absolutely right. It's not in the gifts. It's in the birth of Jesus that we celebrate, in the time that we actually take to be with friends and family. In reflecting in this, I looked back over the past year with the financial difficulties, my oldest daughter being in a car accident and my husband away so much on travel. Our family was always taken care of despite the financial difficulties. There was always food on the table, heat in the house and a roof over our heads. Yes, my daughter was in a terrible car accident and from looking at the car I had wondered how she even walked away. But again, my daughter is here and looking forward to college and her adult life. My husband has been gone seven out of the last ten days for business trips and a lot more than that over the past year, but my husband has a great job that he absolutely loves and he is my biggest supporter in my writing.

So as I had to be told by my 14 year old daughter, Christmas isn't in the gifts. My life is filled with my gifts that cannot be found in a store. What do you have for gifts that aren't under your tree?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Connect The Dots

As I was sitting in my office the other night contemplating my next blog, my friend Denise Robbins asked me to join in some blogging fun in her countdown to the release of Connect The Dots. Of course, I said yes! If you haven't come to this blog in search of an answer, start at Denise's blog for the beginning of the Connect The Dots journey for questions that will lead you in search of the answers.

If you have been brought here by another link in search of an answer -- read on and in my Christmas memories you will find the answer.

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. It's not in the gifts I usually receive, although I will admit I love getting presents -- but it's in picking out that perfect gift for whomever you're buying for. One of my favorite Christmas' was when I was younger, much younger. My dad worked for the electric company and as happened from time to time, he got called out to service lines due to a power outage on Christmas morning. My two sisters and I decided we wanted to wait for dad to come home before proceeding with opening more gifts. As time passed, and boredom set in, there was one gift under the tree from a family friend to the three girls. It was the perfect size for a board game. We decided to open that one present so we could play a game while we waited for dad to come home. Tearing off the wrapping paper, lo and behold we struck gold -- a five pound box of chocolates. No, no board game -- but chocolates. Well, of course mom wasn't game in letting us eat them all so my sister decided to pull out one more present to be opened. The one she had bought me that year. As I tore open the present, I found the game I had been waiting for -- CONNECT FOUR.

For the young people reading this, yes, we had games that weren't on the computer. We played board games for hours. Now I can still play that old favorite game on the computer when I am supposed to be writing -- much like the heroine that we are learning about in Connect The Dots. ;)

Be sure to visit Denise's blog to post your answer. And to continue the fun, the next question is:

What is the name of the heroine in Connect The Dots? Where did Denise get her last name? On Thursday visit http://www.crystalposey.blogspot.com for the next answer.