Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Grandparents

I have written before about lives taking different stages. My husband and I are entering a new stage as we prepare to be grandparents for the first time. The gammet of emotions that we felt when we were first told -- from we're too young, to worry for our daughter, to excitement.

We had talked about being grandparents, yet had thought we had years to go before that thought became a reality. But as the days pass since being told, our excitement grows. My husband has decided he is too young for the title grandpa, and has researched names to be called, finally deciding upon Lolo. As for myself, I have looked, but haven't decided on what I would want to be called.

As you're children grow, you worry about them, but it is a totally different feeling to suddenly be worried about your grandchild. Although we are young, I look forward to fall when our new grandbaby arrives and we move into that next phase of life.

Feel free to let me know what you have called your parents, or if you are grandparents what you are called? Would love to hear the variety we have out there.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Trusting Your Instincts

Trusting your instincts. We all have gut instincts that tell us whether or not something feels right. Learning to trust those instincts can be difficult.

In my life I have found myself doubting my instincts, and then regretting, later finding out if I had gone with my gut instinct things would have been different, and better. Through the years after not trusting my instinct, I started doubting my judgment period. Wanting to put that behind me, I have resolved to start trusting my instincts. How can you start trusting instincts when past has proven you as not a good judge of what's right and wrong?

Hindsight is 20/20 they say and how true that is. Now entering a new phase in my life, I wonder if I can trust my instincts. I want to trust them when I feel that my life is getting better and better and I have to let down the walls and learn to trust others again. Is it that easy though? Not at all.

In my first manuscript, trusting someone with her heart, my heroine found was most difficult. After writing The End, I realized that allowing her to begin to trust the hero of the story, I found myself letting go of pieces of the walls surrounding my heart. As it was shattered in the near past, I realized that sometimes you don't trust your instincts and it brings more pain than is bearable.

So as I enter this new phase in my life, walls built up high around my heart, yet not letting go of the love of my life, I wonder if I can trust again. Can I allow those walls to crash down and can I allow my hero to help repair those shattered pieces. My instinct says yes. How well can I trust that instinct if in the past I have ignored it and regretted it.

If we can write happily ever after, why can't we live it? No, we can't write the hero to do exactly as we want, but can we write our life to be as free as conflict as possible and allow ourselves to be strong and instinctive. As parents we are instinctive on how to protect our children, yet with ourselves we don't always trust our instincts and instead shut ourselves away, or hurt people we love just to get the first hurt in thinking it will save us from being hurt. In the end it only hurts us more deeply than we could have imagined.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Renewed Goals

I just finished the Winter Writing Festival from the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood. It was a fabulous time with writing sprints, supportive writers and meeting new friends. Participating in a writing festival like this pushed me to get on my writing again, setting new goals and working towards them.

I find setting monthly goals more workable than the yearly goals. Short term goals have a light at the end, easier (for me) to fulfill, which in turn brings me a renewed sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

Upon finishing the WWF at the end of February, I was able to jump in with some writing friends to do an informal March Madness. Keeping each other accountable during these monthly goals/sprints makes me more aware of my goals and somehow the competitiveness in my kicks in and the writing pours out.

So my goal for March -- finish my current novel Mirrored Deception. I have already started the process of editing with my critique group, which also gives me a push to finish it as they want to know more of what is going on, and what will happen next.

What are you March goals -- writing or just life related?